It’s a common fact that The Dark Forest of Killascaul* is completely inaccessible to the general public, and only very few of those in the Greater Magic Community have explored it without facing a gruelling and humiliating death. There has been much discussion and theorising about the contents of the forest, so to minimize the amount of wizards being turned into a fine red mist, I will explain what there is to know about the fauna and flora of Killascaul.

At first glance, the forest seems very normal for its location. According to non-magic users, there is nothing remarkable about it, and it is not ideal for exploring, hiking, hunting, or camping due to the initial layer of trees being so extremely dense, and the floor being covered in a nightmarish mix of English Ivy, stinging nettles, and Japanese Knotweed. Due to the protection enchantment that has been placed upon the edge of the forest, any non-magical visitors will be met with this for the full 12km. To cross the barrier, a person would have to [REDACTED BY EDITOR**].

Inside the forest is a much different story. It is immediately apparent that certain trees do not like to stay in their place; these variations of English Yew are approximately 1000 years old, and have been bought to life by the “Magic Radiation” that is emitted from maintaining the forest with enchantments and curses over an extremely long period of time. They can be very aggressive but seem to hold some sense of reason, and can understand human language. One thing to note is that they know the forest very, very well, and while they are accepting of what they know – species and animals native to the forest – they are immediately hostile to anyone or anything from the outside, having an uncanny ability to even recognize the difference between an animal born outside the forest and one born inside the forest of the same species. They are even capable of manipulating their roots, being able to reach an impressive distance with them and using them to hold people in one place, or drag them closer to the main body.

I would be here a long time listing all the strange, magically irradiated plants in the forest, but one in particular is interesting; throughout the forest are patches of orchid-like flowers that grow both black and blue from the same plant, stems entwined. They seem to have no magic properties on their own, but when one tries to take a picture with them, there will be huge white spots on the photograph, akin to an extremely bright light, covering even further than the small radius of the plant. If you were to take an image of a patch of these flowers, all that would be seen in the picture is complete whiteness. This effect works even on phone cameras, and on film they also appear to have this flashlight-like glow, but appear no different to the naked eye. Stranger yet – when left alone they emit completely negligible background levels of magic radiation, but when photographed or filmed, their radiation shoots up to extremely dangerous levels, hitting about 750000 Mp in 10 seconds, the equivalent of a Level 89 Dissipation Beam. It is advised to [REDACTED BY EDITOR***].

A remotely taken photograph of said flowers

As for animals, the most notable creatures in the forest to outsiders are the wolf population. There are two species of wolves; the first are a pack of regular grey wolves, who’s kind have not been seen in Ireland since the death of The Lesser Wolf Cult in 1908. As of writing, their pack consists of 11 members: 2 adult males, 4 adult females, and 5 pups. Strangely enough, no more than approxametly 15 wolves have been sighted at any given time, although deep research into their lives have only been ongoing for the past 4 years. It is possible that the magical radiation is causing some sort of slow growth, as the development of the pups have been slower than that of the average grey wolf – although they seem normal in most other ways.

The other type of wolves are the Dire Wolf. They consist of a smaller pack of approximately 5 members, and are much, much larger than the aforementioned grey wolf. They seem to be deeply imbued with magical properties and reproduce asexually, as each of these wolves seem to simply be direct clones of each other. They are much more aggressive than the grey wolf, but have phenomenal recollection skills, being able to remember those they have seen only once even years later. It is imperative to [REDACTED BY EDITOR****] so that they [REDACTED BY EDITOR*****].

There are many more mysteries of the forest we have yet to uncover, such as the strange behaviour of the local crows, several flora that only have documentation in German medieval documents, and how different the forest is compared to others even as close as a few miles away. These will be documented in the future. Thank you for reading.

Written by Naoise L.,

Edited by Asmodeus the Immortal.

* as it is known in the Greater Magic Community, meaning “The Dark Forest of The Dark Forest”

** “Did you just try to tell people how to get into my fucking forest on my website? Are you insane? Do you have a leaf for a brain? Is that it? You have fucking sticks and leafs in your brain?”

*** "Try to film me in my forest I fucking dare you <|:^)"

**** GET ON THEIR BAD SIDE

***** FUCKING KILL YOU IF YOU ENTER MY FOREST